Options

Entering this new-to-me world of blogging I have entered the hearts and minds of many women broaching this same subject of 'wife.'  There are opinions on this issue ranging from livid that women are feeling the pressure of living up to a romanticized view of the Stepford Wife, to placid assurance that doing all the household chores and looking the part of a supermodel are obtainable on the one income that your husband must be bringing home.

I feel that life is a work in progress and that we are never quite there, but always can be striving to get there.  All aspects of life are ever changing as we grow as individuals and shifting as our wants and needs and social and economic status change.  Where is this 'there' that I want to be? Well, today I want to be a wife.  I want to get married to my fiance and be his partner, his Wingspouse as he climbs his own corporate ladder. And I also want to be a career woman. I am striving to build my own career before we have children. I want to have options, I want to choose my path, not just be forced into a mold. I am lucky enough to have a partner that is willing and able to let me live out my dreams.  Marc makes a good enough income that not only does he want me to pursue my dreams he will be able to financially allow me to follow them.  I never before thought I would be in this position, but here I am and I am grateful I have this choice.  Many women don't have the choice they are forced in one direction or another.  Right now, my 'there' is 'here' choosing to follow my dream of being a career wife while learning to be a good partner.

The Meaning of Wife

I just finished reading The Meaning of Wife: A provocative look at women and marriage in the twenty-first century by Anne Kingston.

It was an interesting book to read over the last few months while I was preparing to get married on June 12.

The book begins with the process of becoming a wife, the bride phase, in which I am thoroughly entrenched.  The white tulle dress, the butter cream frosting, which shade of lavender, all those questions surrounding the party.  Marc & I thankfully have focused also on the marriage not just the wedding, though those details have made the last year full of choices and compromises.

There was a small section on how to be a wife which was centered on the bedroom. And although I'm sure this is important, I was wanting more ideas of how to be a good wife while remaining a fulfilled woman.  It was hinted that this superwoman ideal is not realistic since there are few role models who succeed at being a wife, a mother, and a career woman, but I still believe this is a realistic option, perhaps just not all at the exact same moment.

Most of the book was then concentrated on abused wives, divorced former wives, and the monetary value of a wife. So, the negative aspects of being a wife were highlighted and the end of a marriage therefore the end of being a wife was also highlighted.  So, this really was a social look into the meaning of 'wife' not a guide to learn.

I have other books that I may read on this subject, but I suppose the experience of being a wife will help teach me on how to be the best wife to my future husband.